As we celebrate Charlotte's 2nd birthday this month, I thought it'd be fitting to share my story of her birth. Let's preface this with something I've mentioned before, my whole purpose during my pregnancy was to educate myself as much as possible, be ready for anything, know as much as I could know (or thought I could know) - and I'll say that served me well because nothing that I predicted would happen did.
Charlotte was due 2/17/21. I was in total nesting mode post Christmas and had her room all set, my bag mostly packed and was overly studying the internet for how to know when to go to the hospital and what the f was a birth plan and did I need one? I saw all these templates online for different plans people supposedly use and sent them to my OB friend and said, if people actually use these I'm going to need you to help me fill it out because I have no idea what this means. (She assured me I did not need that and that most would roll their eyes at you if you brought one in like that. It's okay to have some preferences but some of these plans are out of control).
In my opinion, what's even more out of your control than these ridiculous birth plans is the actual birth. Even though it happens every day, it's not the same for everyone - from the signs and symptoms of labor to the actual labor - the whole shabang. So as prepared I thought I was, what I was prepared for did not happen to me. I was prepared for the 41 week induction that then failed and ended in a c-section. That is not what happened in the slightest.
Preface: some of this may be TMI but no one talks about it so I'm here to tell you my TMI story.
Wednesday January 20 was my 36 week appointment. At my practice they do a routine 36 week growth ultrasound. Everything looked great, she was measuring 6 pounds 1 oz, on track to be a perfectly normal and healthy sized baby.
Saturday, January 23 I had a normal day, just hanging out at home of course because it's still COVID time and I'm super pregnant. Phil actually got his first dose of the COVID vaccine this day. Post dinner time I went to the bathroom and noticed some bloody-ish mucus in the toilet and thought, oh shoot that must be the mucus plug?? I had read that it can fall out weeks before labor begins and my OB BFF said the same thing, it really means nothing. I went along with my night and went to bed. I remember waking up around midnight feeling crampy, like you do when you're about to get your period. It woke me up but not enough to do anything about it. I rolled over and went back to sleep. A few hours later the same thing happened, but again just went back to sleep. Then again. And once more before I got up. By this time it was around 7:30 am and the Instacart just showed up. I text OB BFF and she says, it's probably just Braxton Hicks, drink water and try to move around. So, I let the dog out and started unloading the groceries. Phil's still sleeping at this time and has no idea that I may lost my mucus plug and was cramping every few hours overnight. Another preface, I hadn't had any Braxton Hicks at this point so I'm thinking on 36 weeks, this is normal.
While unloading the groceries I started to feel worse and needed to go to the bathroom. I texted him and said hey I'm in the bathroom I don't feel great, Rizzo is outside FYI. When you're on your period do you ever get the period poops? Enter that here, still me thinking this is just normal...or the aftermath of the huge bowl of mac n cheese I ate for dinner the night before. Get that over with and the cramps are back. Now Phil's awake and I tell him what she said and he wants me to call my doctor, so I do, and she says the same thing. It starts to get worse and I don't want to move around or drink water, but I would say the pain is like a 5. I'm not even thinking to start timing this pain or look for a pattern, but luckily Phil was - LOL. He says he was silently getting himself ready to go to the hospital while I was being difficult and pretending I was fine...but I don't remember that part. He said, some time has gone by and it's not getting better so why don't you call the doctor back? I really didn't want to go all the way to the hospital for them to send me home...because again I was thinking 41 weeks with an induction and failed labor into a c-section was my story.
So I call her back, I say "my husband said I'm lying to you and the pain is more frequent and worse than I let on." She said, "you're talking so calmly but let's just have you come in just in case." Now here's where that list I mentioned of the last minute items for your hospital bag comes in handy. I'm struggling at this point, still feeling like 5-6 on the pain scale but don't want to move around, just sit still and let it ride out, as I do when I have period cramps. (and I get those bad so this seemed run of the mill for me). I handed Phil my phone with the list of items we still needed and get gathered them...got the suitcase in the car and helped me get my shoes on. I can't tell you how many red lights he ran, but it was a few.
We had just put the car seat in the car the day before, that week we were planning to do a drive by at Beaumont so we'd know where to park and what door to go in, etc...but we didn't make it to that day. It's about 1:00 now. We pull up and I say I don't think I can walk because I don't know how far we're gonna need to go, can you get me a wheel chair? So we pull up, Phil goes inside and as luck would have it, there are two labor and delivery nurses waiting for their door dash. He tells them the situation and they help get me into triage. We leave everything else in the car and I just have my wallet. Phil said it took forever for them to check me in. I was still in the mindset of they're gonna send me home...even after all I've gone through so far. When she checks my cervix I'm waiting for her to say you're a 3 go home....nope. Instead she says, you're at 10, you're staying. I'm shocked and actually really impressed with myself. I had planned on getting an epidural but was aware that sometimes they won't let you get it if you're too far along...so I was prepared for them to tell me no, but I was going to ask anyway. I figured that if I made it this far and they told me no, I could get through it...I always thought I had a higher pain tolerance than most but hadn't really been in many painful situations before this.
We get up to the L&D room and guess who's the nurse? One of the nurses who was waiting for her door dash. We joke about how her lunch was of course. The most painful part of labor for me was the hip pain - my hips burned. I was no stranger to sore hips from all the years of pom and I knew having them stacked on top of each other would relieve some pain...the peanut ball is great for that so I immediately asked for that, which helped. THEN I asked if it was too late to get the epidural and she said can you sit still, because if you can you can get it. My response was I will damn well try. I got it.
Post epidural they tell you ohhh take a rest, we'll be back soon, try and get some sleep. You aren't going to be sleeping - lol - but rest you may. During the rest my doctor arrived and the first thing she said to me was "so you did lie" - referencing our phone call when I told her Phil said I was lying about the pain and the progression. We had a laugh and then I continued my rest. She came back about an hour later and checked me out and asked if I felt the need to push - I didn't. She came back later and we had the same conversation, still no need from me. At this point my water still hadn't broken. She decided we were ready to get this show on the road...so she broke my water and it was time to meet Charlotte!
Let me give you a little tip that a friend gave me about pushing. Tuck your hips toward your ribs. If you've ever done a barre class, you want to do your best C Curve. Think about eliminating the space between your ribs and hips. You know that reaction you have if someone were to punch you in the stomach? Contracting your belly button back to your spine? That is how you're going to get the baby out. I'd say don't think about pushing down like you're going to poop, but more push your belly button to your spine. In addition, you want to get your legs as close to your chest as you can. Another way to help eliminate that space the baby is living in and force them out.
Another hot tip on the actual pushing part of the labor - you only 'push' after a contraction. So when people say they pushed for x amount of time - there are plenty of breaks in there.
The first few pushes I forgot about the hip tuck tip, but once I remembered the doctor was like "yes, keep doing that!" There came a point where she told me that she was at the ears, her head was halfway out. At that point I knew I was in the home stretch because once one shoulder is out, you're basically in the clear. Maybe two more pushes and she was home free! All in all, I 'pushed' for 45 minutes and then we met Char!
That's normally where you hear the story stop. But there's so much more that happens after that. I already shared much of my breastfeeding journey on a previous post so I will leave that part out.
During the time post birth - like the picture to the left - you get to enjoy your baby while they deliver the placenta and stitch anything that needs stitching. You really hardly know any of this is going on because you're so happy to see your baby (at least that's how it was for me). They initially give you the baby for a bit before they take them over to the warmer, clean them up, do vitals, all that good stuff. Then it's dad's turn.
After the epidural wears off and you can walk, they help you to the bathroom. It's important that you can go a certain amount of pee at this time, so they measure it in a 'hat' in the toilet. This is also when they teach you how to use a peri bottle because you can't use toilet paper for a few weeks. Yes I said weeks. This is where things get complicated for me. We didn't realize it at this time but what happened was the 'hat' was half pee and half water from the peri bottle...so we thought it was the right amount but it wasn't. Fast forward, we're on the mom and baby floor and I'm having a hard time sitting up. I didn't think anything of it because I'd just had a baby, my abs were shit. But then I realized it'd been a long time since I peed. But when I tried, nothing really came out, though I felt the urge to go. The nurses ended up doing a straight cath on me and TWO LITERS OF PEE came out. You can picture a 2 liter of pop...that much. So my abs were not the only thing making it hard to sit up, my giant swollen bladder was! As time went by I still couldn't go on my own. So what ended up happening is they put a catheter in and let my bladder rest overnight. The next day, they took it out...still couldn't pee. Rinse and repeat, they put it back in, a little longer this time. Still no. They put it back in THIRD TIME and I ended up going home with it in. This was the only time I had a breakdown in the hospital. Not over my baby, but over the fear that I would never be able to pee on my own again. I had it for a week. Let me tell you this whole catheter in and out and in and out situation POST vaginal birth hurt more than the labor and delivery. When I went to the OB to get it taken out I was praying that it'd be back to normal. That first pee wasn't as satisfying as I wanted it to be, but it was better than what I had before! I did have to (jokingly, kind of?) ask my SIL....so once I get this catheter out and I have to pee, what am I supposed to do with the baby?
That's my first story. Not the traditional birth story at all - went early, didn't know I was in labor, showed up at 10cm, still got an epidural, lost the ability to use my bladder, but got to take home a healthy baby (after we solved the jaundice situation). All the hard, scary, not so pleasant parts, though, are just temporary. Everything that wasn't great was only temporary and the good was permanent. The good being the strength you are able to see in yourself after going through child birth, the good being the baby you get to take home with you, and the bond you and your partner have having gone through it together. Going through it all for the first time, adrenaline is your friend. Some of the pain was masked by the unknown, I believe. I also believe that your brain forgets all the hard so that you'll do it again...haha. No matter how prepared you think you are, everyone's story is different and one size does not fit all .However your story plays out, it's one of strength, love, and sacrifice that you should be proud of.
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