This week marked my first 5 day work week since returning to the classroom on 3/2. I went back to work on a Thursday, making that first week a nice ease in. The second week, Mother Nature graced us with a snow day. So this week was the first one of going to school all 5 days.
This return to work was different than my last. Returning to work in 2021 after Charlotte was born, there were so many COVID related things that factored into my return. We had family watching her instead of going to day care - since it was only a month and a half until summer break - and because of the fear of a 3 month old getting COVID. We were still remote teaching on Wednesdays so I got to spend Wednesdays with her still. And I was excited to go back to work after being shut down the year before. Though I was excited to go back to work, I had a lot of fear and anxiety leaving Charlotte. I wasn't worried about the family members taking care of her, I knew they'd do a great job and have a special time bonding with her too. I think I was mostly afraid of being able to do it all - to maintain our house, to cook dinner, to take care of her, to be present and successful at work, to maintain relationships with Phil and everyone else in my life.
I've seen graphics on Instagram a lot lately talking about how moms just do it. No matter how they feel or what's on their to-do list, they just do. It's true. I've always had rather Olivia Pope - it's handled - mentality. Once you become a mom - it's tenfold. Add being a working mom on top of that - we're superheroes. We just do it.
This time, I wasn't worried so much about leaving Mackenzie and getting "it all" done. I knew I could handle that part and I knew that our day care would take great care of her. I was more worried about working. I was with my class for less time before going on leave this time than last. I said to a coworker before coming back to work, "who is even in my class? what are their names? what do I teach during literacy stations?" It was like all things work were wiped from my brain. When I went back in 2021 I just showed up ... on a Monday. Didn't prep anything, didn't ask my long term what units she was on, I just showed up. This time, I was wondering how in the hell I did that. I made lesson plans, I talked to my sub, I thought long and hard about going back to work. When I got there, though, it really was just like riding a bike. The kids were excited to see me, my coworkers and principal were supportive and welcoming. Being a teacher is a great job to come back to because there's genuine excitement to see you. You feel missed and valued. That definitely helps the return.
Other than making lesson plans and trying to think about what life inside the classroom will be like upon return - another adjustment is getting two other humans ready for the day in addition to yourself. I pack my lunch and make the bottles for Mack the night before. That's a huge game changer for me. I don't like to do any extra work in the morning than is absolutely necessary. Fortunately, Charlotte normally has to be woken up for school in the morning so she's the least of my worries. Mackenzie is a little bit unpredictable. If she sleeps until 2:30am I can expect her to wake up around 7am which is ideal. If she wakes up before that, I'm in trouble. I get myself up at 6:15, right now, to get myself ready before the girls get up. If Mackenzie gets up before 7, she's been cooperative on having a feed and then going right back to sleep. Which allows me to get ready, get Charlotte ready, and then get Mack up and dressed. I'm on day care pick up duty - Phil does drop off - so that gives me a little extra time to get to work and get settled in the morning. In the evenings, I pick the girls up. Mack usually needs a little cat nap once we get home. She's getting faster and faster at going down for a nap - which is huge for us. Charlotte is usually really cooperative and plays or watches something while I'm getting Mack down. Then I put the milk in the fridge (see more below on that) and the used bottles in the dishwasher. If I'm lucky I can make the new ones and start prepping dinner all before Mack wakes up. The girls have synced their schedules a bit at this point (4 months). Charlotte goes to bed around 7:15-7:30 and Mack 7:30-7:45. Once they're down we can have a few hours to ourselves before bed. I'm about done and wanting to be asleep on the couch at 9:30...but I dream feed Mack at 10. This has been working great for overnight sleep so I will tough out the last 30 minutes :)
The absolute worst part of returning to work for me is pumping at work. I hate pumping in general but at work it's just so much worse. Of the 10 days I've been back, I think on 6 of those days I'll be sitting at my desk doing whatever on my prep and 10 minutes before having to pick up the kids, I'm like "fuck. I forgot" and have to throw the pumps on real quick. I will say I am so fortunate to be a quick pumper, it takes me less than 10 minutes to get 3-4oz per side. The Elvie works really great for me, but I know that's a bit of an unpopular opinion. I've flip flopped back and forth to using the manual pump or the Elvie during the day. The manual takes a little less time but it's not hands free. Last week I ended up using the Elvie all three times during the day and I think I'll stick with that. That was what I did the first time I went back to work, but I liked the manual for the random times I needed to pump during my leave. But during leave, I wasn't on a time constraint like I am at work.
Storing milk at work is easy for me. I have a fridge in my room and put my parts in a ziplock bag in there so I can reuse them without washing. I use my Ceres Chill to store the milk. I pour the first pump into one chamber. The second pump I just put a lid on the bottles and once it's cool (by pump 3) I pour it into the same chamber I used for the first one. Then on the way home, I pour the warm milk into the unused chamber. I'm glad I got a Ceres Chill this time - highly recommend. I'm pumping the same as what she uses at day care (maybe a little more) so I haven't had to dip into my stash yet. I actually was able to add some milk bags to the stash this week. Super proud of that.
So overall, going back to work hasn't been all bad. I don't like pumping. I don't like having limited time to spend with the girls after work before bed. But, I like having something to do all day. I like my job and I like being a mom - I'm not ready to give up my career to be only a mom. Which means I suck up being tired when I get home so I can be present for my girls and spend time with them before they go to bed. Then I go to bed too :)
I came across this quote and it sums it up perfectly. It's not about keeping all the balls in the air. I love a good hack and this is just that.
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