I'm going to share my birth stories soon which will shed some light on how each of my feeding journeys started and ended - but there's so much with feeding your baby that no one tells you about. There's so much that IS SHARED that isn't necessarily true and is really easy to get hung up on. I'm going to share my story and experiences and some things I've found that have worked for me and made feeding my daughters successful and not terrible. This story encompasses the first 6 months - we'll get to solids another time.
The First Time Around:
Setting: Very pregnant, lots of thoughts about how the hell am I supposed to feed this baby, what's right, what's wrong, what's the norm, etc. My advice is to do all the research you can because what you intend to do may not be feasible. The more you know, the more prepared you'll be if your plan gets derailed. Once you become a parent, I don't care how prepared or planned out you are, your plans will always be derailed!
While I was pregnant I was very against breastfeeding. I wasn't breastfed and I turned out just fine, was my thought. I was afraid of being the sole person responsible for feeding my baby. During my pregnancy feeling like the only one who could do that (ie exclusively breastfeeding) gave me massive anxiety. I thought, I'll just pump and bottle feed. Then she'll get all the good stuff but I don't have to feel like a cow and be the sole feeding parent. One of my good friends was pregnant with her first at the same time as me. She convinced me to take a breastfeeding class with her. I obliged because I wanted all the information. Even if I thought this wasn't something I wanted to do, I wanted to know about it. So I took the class. It was really informative and I was glad I took it. Still on the fence, but now armed with new information, I still ordered my pump early, washed and sterilized all the parts and bottle parts, anticipating that I'd need that stuff right away because my plan was to pump and bottle feed.
But I was trying to have an open mind and do whatever I could to feed my baby. I was in the hospital longer than most due to a complication of my own plus Charlotte's jaundice. So my milk came in while I was there and started pumping in the hospital and still trying to breastfeed. It was going okay but I was having success getting pumped milk out so we were feeding her that from a bottle. We had to keep a close eye on how much she was getting in order to help her regain weight and get over the jaundice so we spent a lot of time with bottles and I spent a lot of time with the pump. We still tried to nurse too but after each nursing attempt I had to pump for a few reasons:
I was so afraid of getting engorged
I wanted to have milk on hand to help her keep gaining
I knew she wasn't getting enough from nursing and I needed to tell my body to make milk!
I learned that I HATED the pump. I felt so tied to it, couldn't go anywhere if I was going to hit that 2 hour mark. But I did like seeing how much milk could be produced in a 15-20 minute session. That was satisfying.
Charlotte gained weight, she's still a little peanut, but she got back to where she needed to be and is a great eater to this day. We eventually got into a groove and would nurse regularly but she still took a few bottles a day. This was a very curved road we took in the beginning of our journey, but we made it to our destination. I had to pump when I went back to work and that wasn't my favorite - but the Elvie made it bearable. These helped me get off the tether and feel normal again. **They are not hospital grade so it will not empty you fully, do not use it as your sole pump**
I know some people struggle with these but they really did work for me and helped me feel human again. I used them in the car and at work mostly. They're pricey but it was worth it for me! When I got them they weren't available through insurance but they are now. It's an upcharge but you can get them for a decent price through insurance.
I would use my Medela as my end of the night, before bed, pump to empty me at that point. I know most people swear by the Spectra but I did like my Medela a lot. It worked well for me and whenever I needed a really good pump, I used this instead of the Elvie.
Back to the things that are often shared and not necessarily true but truly make you worried. Most importantly, nipple confusion. I was really worried about this, hence not wanting to breastfeed because I didn't want to be trapped as the only person able to feed her. Now this could be true for some people, but Charlotte never had an issue. She didn't care what bottle you fed her out of or if it was straight from the tap. Along the same lines, some people say their kid won't take a bottle from them, they only want the nipple. Wasn't even remotely the case for us. If either of these are holding you back too, don't let it hold you back until you need to let it hold you back, you know?
Charlotte and I made it 7 months on this journey together. I planned to dry up my supply before returning to work in the fall of 201 - and thank goodness I did. I think my body would have made that decision for me if I didn't make it for myself. The drying process was really easy for me and I think that's because I was on the way out anyway. I also had a REALLY challenging class at school that fall. I never had any free time because of the behaviors and other things I was dealing with during my prep and lunch periods. If I was needing to pump during that time too, I don't think I would have been able to. My early and extensive pumping journey paid off though. I had a stash large enough to give her one breastmilk bottle a day until she was 1. I chose to use formula as the main source of food and add in the one breast milk bottle a day mostly because of day care. By making that decision, sending bottles to day care was easier because it was formula and I wasn't attached to that. And the one bottle a day, I was hoping would serve as an immunity protector against day care germs. I'm not sure if I can attribute this or not, but Charlotte has never gotten more than a cold from day care (knock on wood).
Drying Up My Milk
This was scary at first. However, I was surprised how well it went. I took it really slow. If I knew I wanted to be dry by 9/1 for school starting, I started working on the drying process on 8/1. Slowly cutting back feeds. I can't remember exactly how I did it, but I started dropping one feed at a time, leaving the first and last feed of the day for last. It would take a few days of not doing that feed for my body to say, oh okay we don't need that milk anymore. Slow and steady was a good plan for me.
What's Been Different This Time:
I was confident about wanting to breastfeed in the hospital. I felt confident in what I was doing and it started really smooth for us. Mackenzie was also a preemie and she latched a lot better and sooner than Charlotte - we didn't have jaundice issues, but she did lose significant weight like Charlotte. BUT HER LATCH WAS PAINFUL. Don't sleep on the RX Nipple Cream - Dr. Jack Newman's APNO. You have to get it from a compounding pharmacy and it isn't cheap but it's so worth it. Honestly, they should offer it to you in the hospital. Ask them to call it in for you before you leave. It was a godsend in those first few weeks and I still put it on before bed every night as a protectant.
I bought a manual pump. I saw a Tiktok about a mom who left it on her side table and would use it to relive engorgement in the middle of the night when baby started sleeping through the night. GENIUS. Nothing was worse than having to get up when everyone else is sleeping to pump. It takes a quarter of the time of the wall pump. I also took it to Thanksgiving and relieved the pressure in the bathroom for 5 minutes and went back to the party. Get one.
I'm pretty much exclusively breastfeeding. I didn't know if that'd be possible with a curious toddler but it's been really smooth so far. Phil's usually on bottle duty when I cook dinner or if I'm out of the house. Otherwise, I'd rather stop what I'm doing to feed her than pump later.
Way less stress.
Other BF Products I Love:
Elvie Curve is better than the Haakaa. It can't get kicked off, you can adjust the suction with a press, collects just the same or better. I also found this one on Amazon that's almost half the price and looks to be very similar. I still use my Haakaa but I like the Elvie better
I use the pitcher method, so when I catch the letdown, I put it in the fridge until it cools and then add it to my pitcher. So I have two Elvie curves and one Haakaa in my rotation.
Sunflower letchin for clogs. I take two a day and have only had 1 clog in two months! After I started taking it with Charlotte I never had a clog again. I just ordered a different one from Holistic Lactation that I'm excited to try.
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